Safe
by Stungun Milly
Summary: Lockon always knew Setsuna had nightmares, but never like this. Something was wrong. Very wrong.


Title: Safe

Genre: Drama/Family

Characters/Pairings: Setsuna, Lockon, no pairings

Rating: M (implied sexual abuse of a minor)

Archive/Rec: Just ask and give me credit.

Summary: Lockon always knew Setsuna had nightmares, but never like this. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Notes: WARNING: This may be triggering for a lot of people. It deals with the trauma and effects of sexual abuse and the process of recovery.

Edit: I accidently uploaded the wrong file. This is the revised version.

Lockon always knew that Setsuna had nightmares, his room was right next to his, but never like this. Usually he'd hear him get up and pace back and forth, sometimes for hours. In the morning, he'd have dark circles under his eyes and would be slightly distracted and distant.

Over the past three weeks, it had been different. The nightmares were much more frequent, and he'd wake up screaming. He could hear the same words, over and over. Even if Lockon couldn't understand them, he could tell that Setsuna was frightened. What were they about? The battle at Taklamakan? They'd all had very near-death experiences before. Had this one affected him differently?

He wasn't eating either. He looked pale and thin, and the dark circles were more prominent than ever. Lockon had never seen him like this; it was as if someone had flipped a switch inside of him. He didn't speak unless he had to, and avoided others whenever possible. It was like he'd been replaced by a ghost. A different Setsuna.

Lockon wanted to ask him what was wrong, help him, but didn't know how. He couldn't think of any safe way to approach the subject. Setsuna was extremely unpredictable, even to the point of violence. His…encounter with Nena Trinity was proof of that. If pressed too hard, Setsuna would lash out, like a cornered animal, but hearing him wake up terrified almost every night for three weeks was just too much.

He wanted to ask for advice, but who would he ask? He didn't know who would be able to talk about this, and it almost felt like betraying Setsuna's privacy. As far as he knew, no one else knew about the nightmares, and Setsuna was very sensitive about what he considered weakness. He wanted to be strong, to be able to protect others

Lockon made up his mind. He was going to confront Setsuna and ask him about his nightmares. After all, talking about nightmares usually made them go away. It had worked for Amy.

They were alone on the island, waiting for a report from Wang Liu Mei. This would be the best time, he thought, just me and him. No one else to pry or make Setsuna feel like they were ganging up on him.

He found him sitting cross-legged on the beach, staring at the ocean, and picking at an MRE. He took a deep breath and walked up to him.

"Hey, kid. Mind if I join you?" Setsuna gestured to the spot in front of him. Lockon sat down facing him and set down his own MRE. How should he start this? "How ya doing?" Okay, informal, just a simple question.

"Fine," Setsuna mumbled, not making eye contact.

Liar, Lockon thought, he looks terrible. "Really? 'Cause you don't look so good."

"I'm fine." Setsuna's tone said the conversation was finished.

But Lockon wasn't finished. "I noticed you're not getting very much sleep."

Setsuna finally made eye-contact. He glared fiercely, "I'm getting enough."

"No, Setsuna, you're not."

Lockon tried to keep the frustration out of his voice. What was he doing? He didn't know what to do, how to handle this. Was it really so bad if the kid had nightmares? Yes. It was. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He could feel it.

"I can hear you at night."

"I'm sorry if I woke you." Setsuna's gaze was back towards the ground.

"That's not the point. I'm worried about you."

"It won't affect my piloting."

"That's not the point either."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Like I said, I'm worried."

"But why?"

"Because I'm your friend, and I care about you." He hoped he was getting through, even just a little bit.

Setsuna said nothing. He stabbed a carrot with his fork, but made no move to eat it.

"You can always talk to me if you need to. I'm here for you." Lockon tried to sound as reassuring as possible.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I know you've been having nightmares."

"So? Why does it matter?" Setsuna snapped.

He was treading on very thin ice here. "If you talk about them, you'll feel better. I promise." There. As gentle as possible. "What are they about?"

"They're just nightmares. It's not important."

"Yes, it is. You wake up _screaming_, Setsuna. That's not just a nightmare."

"I don't want to talk about it." There was something in Setsuna's tone Lockon couldn't identify, he'd never heard it before. He didn't like it.

"Did something happen? Are you hurt?" What could have happened? He'd been with Setsuna this entire time. There hadn't been any battles since they encountered the Trinities.

"No, I'm not."

He had hit a wall. If he was going to get Setsuna to talk to him, he needed Setsuna to trust him, to feel comfortable enough with him to share.

"It's okay, you can tell me." He scooted around to sit next to him. "It'll be okay." He put an arm around his shoulders.

Mistake. Big mistake.

"Don't touch me!" Setsuna shoved him away and ran towards Exia.

_It'll be okay, just be quiet._

_I don't like this. Please, let me go back to others._

_C'mon, be a good boy._

_Please! Let me go!_

_You're a soldier! Don't beg! Just do as you're told._

…_yes, sir._

_Good boy._


End file.
